I AM NOT MADE FOR PERFECTION BUT TO BE HONESTLY REAL
In the adequate belief that we are all made not for perfection but with a purpose, being as purposed as possible, there is no singularity that stands on its own. In the dedicated hard work of the last months, in my eagerness to show off the words I had received earlier, I came to one conclusion after that almighty publishing purposed soul of mine… I am not made to be awesomely perfect, but to be honestly real.
In the strive to launch the books I was dedicately trying to ignore myself more and more in order to launch those soul goodies. To fill the gap of nowhere land, being ready to jump into something new and the universe hold its conclusioned ways, its clarification of where it is going to themselves. How convenient, indeed. Always the backup of the universe. Work until you drop…
In my strive, my drive, the eagerness, I have lost myself (once again) in the work. It is always the work. But hey, I am not perfect at all. I write about happiness, can’t feel it. I am too busy. I write about nurturing your inner self, the soul, with dancing, singing, being outside in nature… I have no time. Launching words about taking that step, leaving that comfort zone, don’t be anxious to take those steps… but hey… I have no room to take steps now.
That is possibly why I am feeling burned out and off, and my body is telling me on more occasions that it is enough. I need to stop with what I am doing and start feeling what resides deep inside (where that sparkle ever has been) and deep down inside, wondering what makes me happy after all.
I slept just at 5 am this night, my body hurt, and I came to one big fat almighty conclusion. This means that I am fed up with all that hard work for others, the universe… name it, and that is time for being. Being in contemplation. Being in rest. Being in the nature. And start feeling again. Wherever that sparkle of mine glows deep, under those imperfections, the strive and dedication to work extremely hard… except for myself.
So, the focus may change, and exactly on this point, I say to anyone who is going through the same process of being now… start feeling. Start feeling yourself. Your needs. Your dreams. Your sparkle. If you live someone else’s idea or dream, is it still there for what you carry out to the world??? Wake up in yourself. Like me now. Focus on yourself. Now. Then. Always. Because you are the one who perhaps holds on tight to what was. Focus on what is. Feel yourself…
Love, Irmgard
